April Fool's Day

I began writing this as a response to reaperman's comment on my last article, and figured it really served better as an article unto itself.

The question is, why don't we have any April Fool's Day content?

The short answer is: we're lazy and oblivious.

Actually, it occurred me yesterday that we should have thought of this, but I haven't written anything for the site for a while. I just haven't had anything funny hit me. I'm still going for the "things are going good" theory as to why not. Seriously, if you strip all of the self-deprecating humor out of my writing, you end up with very little that's truly, actually funny.

If I wrote something now it'd probably be all philosophical and crap. I blame the fact that my TV-and-reading diet has changed a bit. I haven't seen Family Guy in a while but my roommates have been watching Carnivale. (Look it up; it's a really interesting show, if somewhat over-the-top in its bizarre plot.) And rather than reading, well, nothing, I found a "selected readings from C.S. Lewis" book at McKay's a while back that I will pick up occasionally.

Also, I blame Smash Bros., because it is incredibly addictive.

Actually, I blame anything but me.

Y'know, now that I think about it, I also blame the fact that no one reads this site. No, really. It's me and The Chef and reaperman. That's it. But at least since things are going well otherwise, that doesn't translate into "no one notices me so I fail at life and hate myself" which in turn leads to more funny articles with self-deprecating humor which no one reads.

Wait, I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing.

Anyway, back to the original subject. I did briefly consider writing an AFD article with the headline "People Read ChainsawBuffet.com" (because, see, no one does). The centerpiece of said article would have been The Chef's photo Photoshopped onto the cover of People magazine (because, you know, we're famous and all, but we're not, which is the joke). Or, I could have just found some royalty-free free clip art of normal people (the kind that would not read this site, but would read a normal site) staring at a computer. Either way, I have other stuff to do today, so screw it.

For those looking for something funny, I recommend The Daily WTF's article on Front-Ahead Design. Well, actually, that's only funny if you've been exposed to some of the more Kool-Aid-infused ideas floating around the world of programming these days.

In serious news, though, a friend of mine told me that Blizzard announced that the new World of Warcraft Hero class was going to be the Bard. Honest. Which means I can finally accurately recreate the greatest D&D character I have ever played in an MMO.

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Comments

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April Fools' Day

The reason that I loathe April Fools' Day is because on the internet, it's a day to post lies and bullshit and go "hur hur hur, u r stoopid" if anyone believes you. I hate it.

And the holiday started as a celebration of religious intolerance and discrimination.

Arpil Floos

You are no fun.

Hey. . .

I read it. I visit this site. Granted I don't check it every DAY or anything, but I do stop by when I can.

Not checking every day

You're not really missing much, as you can tell by the listings.

So... have you written anything for the site yet? I still want to read the rest of that ChefesqueTM rant you sent me a few months ago.

Sloof Lirpa

Wait... which one of us is no fun?

You know...

... now that I think about it, the "People Read ChainsawBuffet.com" headline could be funny even if it wasn't AFD. It just needs the magazine photoshop or the stock photo.

I can envision the stock photo. It's one of those corporate photos of people sitting at a computer smiling, as if they're happily buying whatever crap the site is selling. It would be the type of photo that would have the caption "I just saved a ton on brain explosion insurance from YourHeadAsplode.com! I'm so happy, my doctor had to put me on valium so that I could function in normal society!"

Actually, you know, that might be a good article right there.

Chef is no fun.

You, you're loads of fun.

w00t!

I'm fun!

Wait... did you mean that I'm intentionally fun, or unintentionally fun?

Whatever...

Whatever pickles your cucumber.

Or whatever...

Or whatever stimulates your rectum.

Rants based the restaurant life...

Oh, it's not been finished, yet. But the stories I could tell! However, new experiences are forever being cataloged in my brain, for life in the food service industry is an amalgam of rude/ignorant customers, annoying/lazy co-workers, and co-worker/personal drama Drama DRAMA!

Le sigh...

Unrelated point...

AUSTRALIA...FUCK YEAH!!!

Please explain yourself.

There's nothing in this article or comment thread that even vaguely references Australia.

I know...

The gall of me.

Yes, but...

Yes, but what about America? Don't we matter, too, or do only the Aussies?

America matters...

about as much as Norway.

Norway matters.

Norway matters, because they protect us from the scourge of the mad Swedes.

If by scourge of the Swedes...

you mean meatballs and bikini teams, then I'm okay with that. That's a scourge I can really support.

And Ikea.

Ikea, just some oak and some pine and a handful of Norsemen.

Ikea, selling furniture for college kids and divorced men.

And stoners.

And stoners. Don't forget that demographic.

Indeed.

For all lovers of cheap furniture.