Election '08 Mad Libs

September 12, 2008 12:00 AM

Can you believe the latest out of the [ Obama / McCain ] campaign? They actually have the nerve to [ claim Sarah Palin's son is really her grandson / suggest Barak Obama is the Antichrist ]! It's truly sad that the American media will so blatantly publish the [ Democrats' / Republicans' ] talking points--especially their shameless accomplices at [ CNN / Fox News ].

It's time for America to wake up! If [ Obama / McCain ] gets elected, he and his people are going to turn this country into [ an oppressive communist regime / a warmongering totalitarian theocracy ]. Can you imagine a country where government-sanctioned institutions actively persecute [ Christians / anyone who isn't a Christian ]? What about a public education system that refuses to equip our children with the fundamentals of [ God-given morals / science and critical thinking ]? How could someone vote for a man who so vehemently supports [ the slaughter of the unborn / deliberately withholding aid from poor, starving families ]?

Our nation is at a critical point in history. If we allow [ Obama-Biden / McCain-Palin ] to be elected, our American way of life is finished.

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Comments

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The Chef

You forgot.

September 11, 2008 03:06 PM

You forgot - McCain is really a war criminal, and Obama is secretly a Muslim.

The Maitre d'

Whatever, man.

September 11, 2008 04:31 PM

... are you sure you didn't mean to log in as Jimmy to post that last comment?

The Chef

How?

September 11, 2008 10:17 PM

How can I log in as Jimmy? I'm not him. The Squid is Jimmy. The Chef is not Jimmy. I guess I should have put "allegedly" in there to make it clear that I was only quoting what the two parties' nutjobs are saying.

Jimmy the Squid

I am insulted.

September 12, 2008 07:11 AM

How dare you insult me, human lunch meat? You besmirch my reputation by implying I am merely a front for other powers, in much the same way CNN is truly a front for the Reptilloids who are attempting to wrest control of our government from the Illuminati? Mr. Maitre d', that is low, even for one with your...proclivities. And do not get me started on your proclivities, good sir. I have friends in high places!

At any rate, fur-bearing mammal, you are of course correct on both accounts! The only way you, the people of the Enslaved Republic of America, can avoid this fate is to vote for me, Jimmy the Squid, in your pathetic tribal elections! Vote early, vote often, and vote Jimmy!

Jimmy the Squid 4 Pres!</img>
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The Maitre d'

Bah.

September 12, 2008 09:19 AM

Tonight I dine on calamari.

Goodbye, Jimmy. Goodbye forever. Om nom nom.

Jimmy the Squid

Go ahead and try, pathetic hewmon.

September 12, 2008 09:51 AM

I seriously doubt you would eat your next president, human lunch meat.

The Maitre d'

I'm offended

September 12, 2008 10:04 AM

My next president will not be human lunch meat!

Jimmy the Squid

Of course not.

September 12, 2008 10:08 AM

Of course not, inferior flesh creature. Your next president shall be me!

The Sommelier

Did you know...

September 12, 2008 11:19 PM

That McCain actually fell prey to Stockholm Syndrome while a prisoner of war? It's true. He stabbed an American soldier to death with a sharpened bamboo stick to please his captors.

reaperman

You know...

September 13, 2008 09:49 PM

I have heard that. I thought it was just a rumor. Where did you get your info?

The Sommelier

Originally...

September 13, 2008 09:51 PM

it was posted on CNN's website. I've tried finding it since, but they've taken it down. One has to wonder why.

The Maitre d'

See, that's my point.

September 14, 2008 02:28 AM

That's the whole reason I wrote this article. Besides the usual partisan politics, it seems like this presidential election has been marked by an uncommonly large amount of fringe conspiracy theories leaking into the mainstream.

The Chef