Racism Is Alive And Well - In Al Sharpton's Mind, Anyway

Jimmy the Squid

Al Sharpton and his ilk must be having a hard time these days. After all, they've made their living perpetuating the myth that America is a racist country and that all white people are really evil and hate minorities. However, the fact that you primitive hominids have elected an African-American president pretty well puts paid to that lie. You would think it'd be the final nail in the coffin and people like Sharpton and the "Reverend" Jesse Jackson (What church is he a reverend of, again? Does he have a congregation?) who make their living extorting money from people with false charges of racism would just quietly go away. Then this little gem comes along, giving the "America is racist" conspiracy theorists yet another excuse to get on the news and call for immediate pogroms to kill all whiteys.

Let me be clear here: the media has spent the last eight years depicting George W. Bush as a chimpanzee (literally and figuratively), and no one's said a word. Now, someone even mentions the word "chimp", and some people automatically assume it's connected to our less-than-esteemed president. Well, not really. No one actually thinks the New York Post cartoon was about Barack Obama or any kind of racist statement. In fact, even after you draw together the tenuous lines these rabble-rousers have spun together, no one in their right mind sees a connection.

Hopefully, your American public will see what this is: Al Sharpton's last gasp at getting himself in the spotlight before our truly colorblind country realizes that racism is effectively dead in American and there's no need for extortionists who work under the cover of civil rights. In an America that elects a minority president, there is no use for people who perpetuate the lie that the country is racist. Sharpton, Jackson, and the rest are seeing their source of money - convincing African-Americans that the Evil White Men are holding them down - spiral the drain, because if an African-American is running the country, the whiteys ain't exactly oppressing him. Now it's a pathetic last gasp attempt to make people see a conspiracy of racism against the President. To his credit, of course, Mr. Obama has taken pains to distance himself from nutjobs like his former Reverend "Kill The Whiteys" Wright, not because associates like that scare the white folks, but because they're plain old loonbags who don't deserve anyone's time of day.

Are you, primitive bags of mostly water, going to let this happen? Are you going to allow these people who make their living through extortion, fear, and hatred rule the day?

My instinct says yes, human lunch meat.

See more articles from: Blasphemous Whisperings

Comments

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The Maitre d'

American racism

February 20, 2009 12:13 PM

I wouldn't say racism is dead in America. Officially, yes--it's socially unacceptable. But I think it thrives very strongly in certain circles, and will probably stay that way for some time. (Probably helps that the worst offenders think of themselves as a persecuted minority.) And anyway, American doesn't have to be racist to be bigoted. There's a whole host of more socially accepted -ims that have supplanted it--religion, age, gender, region, accent, , etc.

But yeah, this wouldn't be so bad if Bush hadn't been compared to a monkey as much as he was.

The Maitre d'

Also...

February 20, 2009 12:14 PM

... I note that your new article URL naming scheme is "f---younameofperson." Care to comment?

The Chef

Hmm...

February 20, 2009 12:25 PM

Jimmy seems more hostile than usual.

Jimmy the Squid

"My" naming scheme?

February 20, 2009 01:55 PM

What do you mean, "my" naming scheme, primitive ape-thing with delusions of grandeur? I don't recall ever using that particular motif at a previous time. Perhaps you, homely lumpish thing, are confused or at best lying to cover up your own crimes.

Why is it, spawn of mammalian DNA, that you heap all of these insults on a poor Cephalopod-American? Why is it that the Human always conspires to keep the squid man down? We of the Calamari Are Superior movement only want rights equivalent to you warm-blooded inferior bonebags. Why do you continue to make us sit in the back of the bus?

reaperman

Racist country?

March 8, 2009 09:50 PM

Depends on how you define it. Is the country racist when 51% of the people are? When any of the people are? When public policy is racist? Hmmm.

Jimmy the Squid

Not racist, but merely speciesist

March 9, 2009 10:48 AM

As should be obvious even to an inferior bipedal primate such as yourself, your country does not have any significant acceptance of racism...except, of course, among the communities that support people like Al "Kill Kill All The Whiteys" Sharpton, of course. Everyone knows that racists are a few isolated morons who no one listens to except human lunch meat of the lowest grade (so low, in fact, that they have forbidden it from being used in dog food, among other things).

The racism of previous years, however, has been replaced by a speciesist agenda designed to keep those of us with tentacles "in our place". Why is it that you, monkey-man, perpetuate the myth that your human subspecies biases persist, while you ignore the obvious oppression taking place right under your nose? I am appalled at your treatment of Cephalophod-Americans, and only wish the quick extermination of your species when the stars come right. Of course, I hold no bias against your malformed, unintelligent species of inferior fur-bearing mammals, and will gladly accept your votes when I make my run for the Senate. I am merely an impartial observer of this matter, you understand.

reaperman

I do not ignore it.

March 9, 2009 01:48 PM

I embrace our current speciesist agenda. Your kind lacks the mental capacity and charisma to be aloud to form public policy or even be allowed to operate basic machinery. We of the human race look down upon you "suckers" as we call your kind.

Jimmy the Squid

Of course you wouldn't...

March 9, 2009 02:34 PM

It's "allowed", not "aloud", you poor misguided fool of a man-animal. Who, may I ask, lacks the facility with basic machinery now, hmm? I suppose you, ignorant hominid cracker that you are, would dress up in a white sheet and hood, call up David Duke, and hold a calamari-burning on a lowly cephalopod's lawn to "show him his place". Perhaps an old-fashioned lynching, stringing up some poor squid by a rope of pasta, then basting him in butter? You'd like to do that, wouldn't you? Too long have pseudopod-Americans been held down by the ape-man! We refuse to wait in the back of the kitchen. I have a dream that one day, all squids and octopi and cuttlefish (yes, even cuttlefish, the maligned rubber bands of the deep!) will march tentacle-in-tentacle down the streets of America, standing up to our hair-flocked oppressors and demanding equal rights for all beings, be they Democrats or other spineless, slime-dripping beings. Our ink will run true!

The Maitre d'

Mmm.

March 9, 2009 03:50 PM

Calimari. Pasta. Steaming piles of squid drenched in butter. Delicious.

And you know I gave up meat for Lent, you jerk.

Jimmy the Squid

Aha!

March 9, 2009 07:43 PM

I knew it! Even this pathetic human lunch meat is opposed to giving my brethren equal rights! My thought was, "Surely this bone-headed fool cannot be so callous as to consider eating his fellow sentient creatures!", but alas you have proved it not to be so, and destroyed any faith I might have had in humanity (or pretended to have in order to win votes for my presidential campaign - and I came so close to winning!). You, fur-bearing man-animal, are a monster wrapped up in a skin of human meat.

The Maitre d'

Re: Aha!

March 10, 2009 08:44 PM

Shut up, squid, and get in my freezer. I'll deal with you after Easter.

reaperman

So sad...

March 10, 2009 09:25 PM

that all you can come up with is a typo to attack me. Obviously, if you could have attacked my position, you would have. Don't worry, you will someday evolve the needed cognitive ability to debate...assuming we have not eaten you.

The Maitre d'

Get to evolvin' now

March 10, 2009 10:18 PM

Because you only have about one month left.

Jimmy the Squid

Bah!

March 11, 2009 03:03 PM

Just as obvious to those of us with reasoning ability (meaning, of course, that you two television-lobotomized ambulatory vacuum tubes are excluded), it should have been obvious that I had no need to debate with your "position", as the very act of questioning your abilities, human lunch meat, proved my own to be superior. Why is it that you persist in an agenda that is manifestly wrong? We Cephalopod-Americans only want the basic rights afforded to us...namely, the right not to be basted in butter or fried or served as sushi. Our squiddish voices shall be heard, and our ink shall run true when we stand up to our primitive hominid oppressors! Monkey-meat, when the stars come right, you are going to be among the first to be pureed with yolks and served up in the halves of hard-boiled eggs to Great Cthulhu, mark my words. And remember, if Jimmy says it, you can take it to the bank!

The Chef

Our special tomorrow will be fried calamari.

March 11, 2009 09:06 PM

Our special tomorrow will be fried calamari, served in a white wine sauce. Warning, however: the flavor may be bitter and a bit nutty.





That's from the cyanide.

Jimmy the Squid

Cyanide?

March 12, 2009 08:19 AM

Surely even you, psychotic and especially self-destructive man-ape-gone-wrong, would realize that cyanide would poison your customers as well as myself. Methinks that would be your desired result - you seem like the type who would poison an entire dining room of your species just for a lark. You and your half-evolved cohorts (who are also 95% chimp by volume) are prime examples of my point about your species. You do not even recognize your biases, and instead pass them off as "just eating". And in their place, you make up nonsense about how people believe that there is a massive movement dedicated to the superiority of one of your primitive subspecies over the rest.

The Maitre d'

Well...

March 12, 2009 10:48 AM

... you obviously don't know The Chef, then.

And you clearly aren't the same person as The Chef, either. No sir. There's no way the same depraved mind could be lurking behind both of your avatars, posting whatever insanities the cymbal-playing monkey in his madness-riddled brain commands him to write.

The Chef

That should be obvious.

March 12, 2009 02:52 PM

As Jimmy would say, that much should be obvious. Are you sure you're not Jimmy?

The Maitre d'

Obvious?

March 12, 2009 10:15 PM

I dunno, I've heard you talk about the cybmal-wielding monkey before.

The Chef

Yes, but...

March 12, 2009 10:44 PM

Yes, but I don't recall ever hearing Jimmy mention such. And it wouldn't be beyond you to accuse someone else of being Jimmy to throw us off your trail.

Jimmy the Squid

Fools!

March 16, 2009 11:07 PM

You're all fools! It's obvious that I am most certainly not the wine-guzzling undead one, either! You can take that to the bank, primitive stick-wielding ape-things!

Of course, now the first human lunch meat (the one in the fancy suit with the chainsaw; the Squid cannot be bothered to keep track of what passes for your "names") is merely attempting to change the subject, throwing accusations around (since obviously he cannot be me, since he be the one who was throwing around said accusations) that I may be disingenuous or even a front for some higher power. This is all completely separate from my main point, which is that your entire species is a pack of idiotic, gibbering hominids who should be wiped off of this planet.