49 Hobo Names

May 27, 2010 12:00 AM
The Maitre d'
The Maitre d'
Mystery Meat

These hobo names were generated during the night of May 10, 2010, during a game of The Chef's Border Town d20 Modern setting. One of the players rolled up a hobo character (who wields a machete and once a day may go into a drunken bum Rage), and so it could not be stopped.

This man was christened "Smilin' Jack Cisco, The Hobo Prince of Arizona."

I have done my best to ensure that we have not stolen any of John Hodgman's precious 800 hobo names subliminally. I will, however, cop to stealing his shtick yet again, which I think has to do with the fact I listened to his Areas Of My Expertise audiobook a few weeks ago. I have not been the same since.

Anyway, given that he is the writer of an almanac of COMPLETE WORLD KNOWLEDGE, I suppose he already knows of these hobo names, as well as many more that will never be published.

  1. Sonny Six-String, The Hobo Troubador
  2. Grinnin' Kate Rockpile
  3. Saggy Jill Railrider
  4. Smilin' Jack Cisco, The Hobo Prince of Arizona
  5. Duke Snooty the Fancypants
  6. Stripperjack Larson
  7. Pancake-Flipping Williams
  8. Frog-Faced Sally
  9. Big Top Joe Hopper
  10. Harmonica Rachel, Mistress of the Iron Rail
  11. Samuel Fifthojack
  12. Scene-Stealin' Frank Miller
  13. Killer George Hobo-fight
  14. Fabulous Charles Dodgson, Who Is Not Gay
  15. Dodge City Charlie, Cowboy of the Wastes
  16. Jackson the Spam-Bomber
  17. The Other Buddy Guy
  18. Fantastic Joe Shrimptail, The Seafood Conoisseur
  19. Chippewa Charlie, The Indian Prince
  20. Big Ed Proprietor
  21. Hubcap Willie
  22. Jorje the Grumbler
  23. Captain Latin Cluefinder, Esquire
  24. Danny Renárd, The Hobo Làwyer
  25. Jack Malcom Out-on-the-Street
  26. Lucas Lobo, Shag Carpet with Teeth
  27. Sammy Urinal-with-Stain
  28. Floyd Copcar Wilson, The Hobo Lawbringer
  29. Joey Vagrant
  30. Holler Farnsworth, The Judge
  31. Jumping Sarah Bluepanties
  32. Jackson Daniels, Brewer of the Freightyard
  33. Matt Tabor, The Junkyard Giggalo
  34. Devan Knappsack, The Traveler
  35. Joni Pointyknife, The Manstabber
  36. Money Eddie, The Alley Millionaire
  37. Raging Bum Soiledpants
  38. Robby Columbine, The Raging Bum
  39. Conan the Bumbarian
  40. The Cracker Jim White
  41. Frankie Can-String, The Hobo Telephone Operator
  42. Soggy Jimmy Soup-Pants
  43. Ballad Shipley, The Vampire Hobo
  44. Bloody Ralph Garrison, The One-Handed
  45. Crazy Dave Jetty
  46. Union Zeke the Soldier
  47. Jimbo Gimp, The Limper
  48. Bottomless Pete Everhungry
  49. Charles Yeager Sonicboom

BONUS: Hobofuel, The Bumwine Energy Drink

 

No alcohol or drugs were involved in the creation of this list.

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