Movie Reviews for Short Attention Spans

The Maitre d'

As some of you know, I recently got a new job. Yeah, that's an odd way to start a movie review article, but let me finish. As part of this job, I get to work at home. So I get to do nifty stuff like put movies on in the background while I'm working.

Really, I find it helps me concentrate better than listening to music. It's slightly more active so I don't find myself wanting to slack off as much. (Maybe I'm ADD, who knows.) And let's face it, I've listened to everything good on my music server too much to hold my attention anymore. I love Good Monsters but I'm pretty sure I've listened to it eleventy bajillionhundred times already, and let's face it, "Work" is probably not helping me be less depressed. (Although I freaking want to play it on Rock Band every time I listen to it--do you hear me Harmonix?)

Anyway, here's a review of some of the movies I've watched. And the reviews are short because I've only been halfway paying attention.

Get Smart's Bruce and Lloyd Out of Control

Say that three times fast.

This movie is hilarious, whether or not you've watched the series or the new movie. OK, sure, it's painfully obvious that it's tied in to the movie, because they keep mentioning why Max and 99 and The Chief aren't around. I'm OK with the fact that you couldn't get the stars of the movie into this direct-to-DVD release; you don't have to apologize. You're good enough without them, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Unfortunately, it also feels like a spy show written by Nickelodeon... except with lots of adult dialog and cursing. (This may be exacerbated by the fact that I think The Underchief played the dad on some Nick show or another.) If you can get past the fact that government agencies work nothing like the way they're portrayed in the film, it's quite enjoyable. Especially if you're a geek and can identify with the main characters.

And to The Chef: it's 100% Steve Carrell-free.

Idiocracy

I'm not sure how I missed this one. It's made by the same guy that did King of the Hill and Office Space. While it's not as quotable as the latter movie, it does have its moments. And it did give us the greatness that is BRAWNDO: The Thirst Mutilator.

This movie is like Futurama gone wrong. Instead of being technologically advanced, the future is filled with sex, advertising, and stupidity. As commentary, it's decent. If it took itself more seriously it would make for better social commentary, but it wouldn't be nearly as awesome.

If you do not watch this movie, it's worth it to at least watch the introduction that explains why natural selection will fail the human race. It's classic. It's epic. I laughed, I cried, I feared for the future of humanity. It gives credence to The Chef's theory that 75% of people are too stupid to live.Little Miss Sunshine

OK, this movie starts out being funny, but it gradually becomes a heartwarming, if depressing, look at the meaning of success and failure. And I'm OK with that, because I'm sensitive enough to enjoy that kind of thing every now and again. Shut up and quit laughing at me.

The movie is rather dark, and plays up the darkness for laughs. (Either that, or I'm a horrible person.) I won't go into it here since these reviews are supposed to be short, and any details would just spoil it.

What I do like is the movie's commentary on success and failure. Greg Kinnear's self-help guru is society's standard understanding of what success means: you have to win, or you fail. OK, it's a little over-the-top, but the basic sentiment is pretty accurate. The movie then precedes to counter this in every possible way. Failure's OK if you got dealt a bad hand, and try your best, and don't sell out who you are. In fact, it's sometimes better than winning. And sometimes the bad guys aren't always such bad guys.

And to The Chef: it's not all about Steve Carrell, so I think you could stomach it.

Fullmetal Alchemist

OK, I've also been watching through FMA. I'm not going to write a review. You either know about it or you don't by now, depending on whether you like anime.

Sadly, I'm finding that it's dragging by episode 40. It was really good earlier on, but I'm kinda over all the fighting and crazy revelations and Ed wigging out every time someone says the word "short." This is why I can't really do series that go over 26 episodes.

And I really want to like it more. I generally greatly enjoy BONES work. I mean, I would give my left arm if they would make Scrapped Princess Reloaded^* or RahXephon 2: Electric Boogaloo^**. But it seems like if they go over 26 episodes (I'm looking at you too, Eureka Seven) I just can't get into them.

^* You'll get this if you watch the series.

^** Unlike with Scrapped Princess, there's no inside joke here. It's just a token "Electric Boogaloo" reference. Enjoy it.

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