Chainsaw Buffet: The Takeout Menu

The Chef

We here at Chainsaw Buffet have always felt that it is our mission to bring you the finest in cannibal cuisine. Well, metaphorically speaking, anyway. Now you, too, can participate in the Chainsaw Buffet experience by downloading this fake takeout menu and pretending you're going to order something from us!

You'll also likely be seeing these things scattered about at conventions over the next year, since the Maitre d' is uncomfortable with dressing up in a suit and passing out the Roboreaganologist tracts he created a while back. Just our way of bringing a little black humor into the world.

If you don't know how these things work, the menu's meant to be printed out on the front and back of a single sheet, then folded in thirds with the Maitre d's smarmy mug on the front.

Download the menu as a PDF file here.

See more articles from: Mystery Meat • Self-Referential Crap

Comments

Discuss this article on the Chainsaw Buffet forums.

The Maitre d'

Wow.

October 14, 2008 04:16 PM

It's like we actually have talent or something.

Bravo, sir.

The Chef

What you mean "we", white man?

October 14, 2008 06:46 PM

I was going to correct you by saying it's like I have talent, but then I realized I used your image on the cover. I now hate you.

The Maitre d'

What do you mean "white man," Chef?

October 15, 2008 01:07 PM

Why do you have to bring race into this?

The Maitre d'

"We"

October 15, 2008 01:08 PM

By "we" I meant "all of us collectively have a pool of talent from which to draw." When one of us achieves something for the Buffet, all of us achieve something for the Buffet.

The Chef

I don't recall agreeing to share credit.

October 15, 2008 01:25 PM

I don't recall agreeing to share credit.

And you're the one who brought race into this, because you're biased against brown people.

reaperman

And lest we forget...

October 15, 2008 05:30 PM

fat people, girl people, and Chad people.

The Chef

And..

October 15, 2008 08:00 PM

And cat people.

snarkywaitress

My people...

October 21, 2008 10:19 PM

...are offended on many of those fronts. I'm not a Chad, but a LOT of those apply.

By the way, Folks, we'll be running a special on grilled jackass next week. $10.99 for all you can stand to eat.

The Maitre d'

While we're talking about what offends our people....

October 24, 2008 01:41 AM

My people are offended by the following internet memes: "FAIL," "EPIC FAIL," and "FAIL AT LIFE." We would prefer you use the terms "SUCCESS-CHALLENGED," "EPICALLY SUCCESS-CHALLENGED," and "SUCCESS-CHALLENGED IN VIRTUALLY EVERY IMPORTANT WAY, BASED ON MODERN SOCIETY'S STANDARDS."

And the fact that I am success-challenged in virtually every important way based on modern society's standards doesn't make me depressed, merely happiness-challenged.

The Chef

Yes, but...

October 24, 2008 06:45 AM

Yes, but you don't matter. Only those who matter get to use politically-correct euphemisms.

The Maitre d'

Well.

October 24, 2008 01:33 PM

There's yet another example of why I'm happiness-challenged.

The Chef

I thought.

October 24, 2008 05:56 PM

I thought you were happiness-challenged because there might not be a podcast this week, either.