Real-Time Review: Caprica

The Chef turns his steely Cylon eye on Caprica as it runs and shares his thoughts. Hey, it can’t possibly be worse than season 4 of BSG turned out…or can it?

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Hey, Remember When Battlestar Galactica Didn’t Suck?

After finishing off season 4.0 of Battlestar Galactica, the Chef reminisces about a time when the show was about real people instead of mystic visions and shit. Warning: BIG FAT FRACKING SPOILERS. ELLEN TIGH IS A FRACKING CYLON!

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What the Fuck Happened to the Future?

At one point in time, everyone predicted that by the end of the 21st century’s first decade, we’d have a shiny new future of flying cars, personal jet-packs, and robotic servants. Instead, in 2009 we have a global economic meltdown and an internet full of porn. Where the fuck did we go wrong?

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The Tale of William Morrison, Part the Deuce

The Chef baits the hook for our scammer friend. Let’s see how many hoops “William Morrison” will jump through. I’ll bet he doesn’t read this site.

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A Tale of William Morrison, the Dumbest Scammer Ever

The Chainsaw Buffet staff receives an email from what is possibly the dumbest spammer scammer ever. And no, he’s not a Nigerian prince.

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A Chainsaw Buffet Thanksgiving

As we celebrate the first year of Chainsaw Buffet, the Chef shares the heartwarming rags-to-riches tale of the Buffet’s origins. Hilarious hijinks and homeless winos being served for dinner ensue.

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If The Snake Hooptie Devoured You Today, Would You Go To Heaven Or To Hell?

Tell me, good sir, if the Snake Hooptie were to devour you today, would you end up in Heaven, or in Hell?

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Chainsaw Buffet: The Takeout Menu

We decide to finally get our shit together and start promoting the site. What fake restaurant is complete without an equally fake takeout menu?

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An Orc’s Life Must Suck

The Chef examines the life of an average orc.

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Revelation of the Snake Hooptie!

The Chef has a revelation from the Reagan Himself, foretelling the Second Sighting of the Snake Hooptie, which will come to devour us all.

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