Serious Commentary

I are serious writer. This are serious commentary.

One Heartfelt Wish

The Busboy lets out a cry to help to some of his favorite TV channels.

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Ode To Breakfast

The Busboy confesses his feelings to the makers of his favorite breakfast cereal.

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A Visitor's Guide to The Strip

Near the University of Tennessee in Knoxville, exists a length of road referred to as "The Strip." More often than not, it suffers a crippling douche bag/drunken slut infestation. This brief list will prepare you for what to expect should you ever find yourself visiting The Strip.

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Love in the Time of Fable II

The Maitre d' gets Fable II for Christmas and uses it as a place to play out all of his hangups and repression.

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What the Fuck Happened to the Future?

At one point in time, everyone predicted that by the end of the 21st century's first decade, we'd have a shiny new future of flying cars, personal jet-packs, and robotic servants. Instead, in 2009 we have a global economic meltdown and an internet full of porn. Where the fuck did we go wrong?

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Dear Retail Industry

The Maitre d' would like to have a word with you about the upcoming holiday season.

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The Great Cleric Quest: Part 1

The epic story of one man's attempt to create a Dungeons and Dragons themed costume for DragonCon 2008. Part one: the idea is conceived, the materials gathered, and people speculate on my ginormous shoe size.

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Election '08 Mad Libs

This is why America is f@#$ed.

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Bigfoot and the Epic Scientific Fail

Apparently this is what passes for science these days: a photo of a fursuit in a refrigerator and a big press conference announcing they're going to be doing some tests.

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The Chef Is A Snob

The Chef admits that he is, in fact, a snob. But it's not for the reasons you think.

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In Praise of Eliot Spitzer

The Chef expresses admiration for the man who has shown us what it truly means to be a public official: Eliot Spitzer.

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Yet Another Mass Effect Analysis

The Maitre d' weighs in on the complete misrepresentation of Mass Effect by Fox News... just like every other game-playing blogger on the 'net.

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Mission Statement

These are the voyages of the web site Chainsaw Buffet. Its mission: to seek out new thoughts and new condiments, to boldly write shit no one has written before.

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Vitamin C: the modern world's greatest placebo?

This article has not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This website is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

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Interstate 35 Revisited

Lookin' for God in all the wrong places.

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The Chef Is Not Feeling The Season

The Chef really isn't feeling the spirit of the holidays...but not for the reason you think.

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Broken Compasses and Fallen Gods

The Chef's Article of the Day takes on some people's reactions to The Golden Compass.

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Article of the Day: Dumbledore is What?

The Chef makes a commitment. No, not that kind of commitment. Instead, the Chef will be providing one article a day for your reading pleasure. His first topic? The surprising revelation that Dumbledore likes to go to Elton John concerts.

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Star Trek Goes Boldly Into the Final Frontier – Death!

The Chef explores the implications of a line of Star Trek-themed funerary products.

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