Racism Is Alive And Well – In Al Sharpton’s Mind, Anyway

Al Sharpton and his ilk must be having a hard time these days. After all, they’ve made their living perpetuating the myth that America is a racist country and that all white people are really evil and hate minorities. However, the fact that you primitive hominids have elected an African-American president pretty well puts paid to that lie. You would think it’d be the final nail in the coffin and people like Sharpton and the “Reverend” Jesse Jackson (What church is he a reverend of, again? Does he have a congregation?) who make their living extorting money from people with false charges of racism would just quietly go away. Then this little gem comes along, giving the “America is racist” conspiracy theorists yet another excuse to get on the news and call for immediate pogroms to kill all whiteys.

Let me be clear here: the media has spent the last eight years depicting George W. Bush as a chimpanzee (literally and figuratively), and no one’s said a word. Now, someone even mentions the word “chimp”, and some people automatically assume it’s connected to our less-than-esteemed president. Well, not really. No one actually thinks the New York Post cartoon was about Barack Obama or any kind of racist statement. In fact, even after you draw together the tenuous lines these rabble-rousers have spun together, no one in their right mind sees a connection.

Hopefully, your American public will see what this is: Al Sharpton’s last gasp at getting himself in the spotlight before our truly colorblind country realizes that racism is effectively dead in American and there’s no need for extortionists who work under the cover of civil rights. In an America that elects a minority president, there is no use for people who perpetuate the lie that the country is racist. Sharpton, Jackson, and the rest are seeing their source of money – convincing African-Americans that the Evil White Men are holding them down – spiral the drain, because if an African-American is running the country, the whiteys ain’t exactly oppressing him. Now it’s a pathetic last gasp attempt to make people see a conspiracy of racism against the President. To his credit, of course, Mr. Obama has taken pains to distance himself from nutjobs like his former Reverend “Kill The Whiteys” Wright, not because associates like that scare the white folks, but because they’re plain old loonbags who don’t deserve anyone’s time of day.

Are you, primitive bags of mostly water, going to let this happen? Are you going to allow these people who make their living through extortion, fear, and hatred rule the day?

My instinct says yes, human lunch meat.

About Jimmy the Squid

Jimmy the Squid is a mystery to even those who work at the Buffet. While he claims to be a simple disembodied tentacle, the truth is that only Gavin McLeod knows what lurks at the bottom of the Chef's soup pot (and Gavin isn't talking). Some claim that he is really an unknown horror from beyond space and time, laying in wait until the stars come right and his kind again rule the Earth. Others say he's just a piece of calamari gone bad. I miss Jimmy the Squid.Like most creatures with minimal brain function, Jimmy's interests include talk radio and CNN. He occasionally posts his ramblings here on Chainsaw Buffet, spreading wisdom and harebrained theories alike. Professing the inferiority of the barely-evolved hominids who are the dominant species on this planet, Jimmy is an outspoken proponent for the rights of Cephalopod-Americans, often organizing protests against the serving of calamari. No one really knows why Jimmy hasn't been served up for dinner by now. It's entirely possible that he holds some secrets to blackmail the Chef with.